Jodie Whittaker Reading "Pregnancy Test" Sonic Screwdriver

Now that I accept a few minutes gratuitous, I thought I'd go back to one of my slap-up passions...bashing The Whorist (or as it'due south mostly known, The Nerdist), in item their Doctor Who  reviews by ane Kyle Anderson.

Mr. Anderson (at present doesn't that sound sinister) in my view, has rarely if e'er met a Doc Who postal service- Rose  story that he hasn't loved . I don't mean liked. I mean L-O-V-E-D , to where that particular episode is the All-time Doctor Who  Episode of All Time...until the next episode when THAT becomes the All-time Doctor Who  Episode of All Time. Information technology's gotten to exist virtually a point of parody to see how Anderson rarely finds fault with a Physician Who  episode. I don't mean just to nitpick on a few things. I mean give a bona-fide negative review. Even I, someone who has been vociferous in my condemnation for many NuWho episodes, do admit when I see a skilful one (like Flatline  or Mummy on the Orient Express ). Anderson, however, volition most always find something to wax rhapsodic about, even on something as awful as In the Forest of the Dark .

I was intrigued by this, so a little inquiry was required. I went as far back as I could regarding Anderson'south Doctor Who  reviews, and the earliest ane I could notice was the Series/Season Six opener, The Incommunicable Astronaut . What I've done is taken Kyle Anderson'southward review verbatim, and offered my ain 'translation' to the text to meet what Anderson is, in my view, really saying. I also throw in my own thoughts as to what is existence said.

I hope this will exist a fun and informative journey into the strange listen of the Performance Nerd.

I present Part 34 of The Nerdist as Whore: Mind . My 'translations' are in red.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt famously said "We have nothing to fright but fear itself."

TECHNICALLY, President Roosevelt said "the only thing we take to fear is...fear itself", but in this case, I'm not going to split hairs, every bit quotes are often misquoted.

That appears to be what was zipping around Steven Moffat's brain when he wrote this week's Md Who episode, "Listen," directed by Douglas Mackinnon. It's an episode all most beingness too afraid to function,

It'southward an episode all well-nigh being likewise afraid to function…as a rational, logical episode.

or possibly to realize the truth of what's going on,

Something Doctor Who abandoned long ago.

and one that raises a lot of questions it doesn't reply,

And will not only never answer, but get out a wild and outlandish continuity error so brazenly irredeemable that not even our sycophantic Disfunctional Nerd can mayhap answer without going into mental contortions to try and make a completely casuistic plot thread work on whatsoever rational and/or coherent level.

and answers questions nosotros didn't know we'd asked (but were glad we did).

This episode boasts a very modest cast, but very big ideas, a lot of creepiness, and a lot of "probably"s that are PROBABLY true.

They are 'probablies' (yes, it's not a word but I call up yous change "y" to "-ies" to make something plural) because to employ 'probably' is an piece of cake and user-friendly way to explain away plot points and whole stories that in hindsight, won't brand any sense.  By proverb 'probably', yous accept an escape clause where you lot don't have to tie yourself down to a particular bespeak or plot idea in Heed that some other episode, say, Decease in Heaven or Face the Raven, will contradict or render impossible .

Every serial, I think, needs a proficient ol' creepy ghosty scary episode and, (equally AliciaLutes aptly pointed out),  "Listen" had a lot of Series 7's "Hibernate" all over it, and that's not at all a bad matter.

"I adored this episode, easily my favorite of this one-half-serial, and mayhap for the whole series, but we'll take to meet about that. It had everything I love about Doctor Who and did something different. Sure, the end went a trivial soft, only information technology never got stupid or implausible, which is truly commendable. If you'll alibi me, I remember I'yard going to go lookout man it again".

Information technology's no surprise Anderson thinks having a lot of Hide isn't a bad thing.  It's so rare when he thinks anything Doctor Who-related is a bad thing.

Honestly, in your middle of hearts, could the closing paragraph from his Hidereview accept come up from just well-nigh Whatsoever Kyle Anderson Doctor Who-reviewed story?

"Mind" begins with the Doctor talking to himself, something we know he does and have seen him practice quite a lot; this time, yet, he ponders WHY he does it,

Why enquire why?

My approximate is considering there is no 1 he can talk to, with Wilson, I mean, Handles, gone and Clara a Function-Fourth dimension Companion, though I'yard sure Anderson wouldn't heed if Jenna Coleman were his...

and if peradventure he isn't talking to himself and that when people recall they're talking to themselves they're actually talking to a thing that'south hiding just out of sight, something that follows anybody around at all times. That's a pretty terrifying thought, but certainly one virtually if non all of us have had.

That's why we're afraid of the night, or of chilling quondam houses, or of forests,

Can y'all imagine how scary In the Woods of the Dark must be so?  In fairness, it was, though perhaps not the style Anderson might want to think, but now we're getting ahead of ourselves.

or of etcetera – because MAYBE someone or something else is there with you lot.

Probably it isn't, but maybe information technology is.

OR IS IT?

Moffat's made a lot of generally mundane things quite scary (like statues, silence, the dark, robots…errr), just now he'southward actually decided to brand nothing scary. NOTHING, the concept. Information technology's terrifying.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The Most Terrifying Bear witness In History:

Clara, meanwhile, has finally gone on her date with Danny Pink, and boy howdy does information technology not get well.

Jenna Coleman in My Dinner with Danny.

Danny'southward very touchy about having been a soldier, and doesn't appreciate whatever kind of offhanded comment well-nigh his having killed people in the line of duty, nor does she capeesh being lumped in with all the other people who do make stupid jokes like that.

Far be it for me to be 'highly disquisitional when needed', only if I were accused of state of war crimes in the guise of jokes while on a appointment, I'd be a bit touchy too.

From my vantage point, I'd say Clara was shockingly insensitive, even condescending, towards Danny.  Hither though, I figure it is cogitating of Moffat'south (and maybe, Anderson's) worldview of those in the armed services.  I figure in the U.G., you don't become people coming up to those in compatible and proverb to them, "Thanks for your service".  Subsequently all, all those serving in the military are all war criminals, and generally stupid besides.

What was information technology Most-President John Kerry said: unable to get into college so they're 'stuck in Iraq (read: the military)'.

My sneaking suspicion is that Moffat genuinely feels the same as our almost Commander-in-Chief: only those with piffling to no education actually serve in the armed forces.  This version of The Doctor certainly thinks so.  Why else would he get on about how old soldier Danny Pink couldn't possibly be a maths teacher and had to be a P.E. teacher?  There is a horrid elitism behind Moffat, The Dr. and Clara's thinking, one that seeps in and finds class in the dialogue.  I've long argued that a writer's dialogue, consciously or not, presents his/her worldview through the stories and dialogue.  The whole 'The Doctor hates soldiers' thread, I recall, reflects both Moffat and the Physician Who production staff'south mindset.

We could go over again near the Dr.'due south deep affection and respect for The Brigadier, the epitome of the war machine, only why?  Most NuWhovians have the vaguest idea of who The Brigadier was.

I'g sure Anderson would like to be affect-feely with Coleman, simply now I digress.

It's all a bit of a mess, so she'due south more happy (or less than willing to argue besides hard) when she returns home to find the Doctor and the TARDIS waiting for her in her room.

Bless The Doctor: the merely human who can be waiting for Clara in her bedroom and not think about going to bed with her.  Anderson, on the other hand…

He tells her his hypothesis and asks if she'southward ever had the dream (or not a dream) where you think someone'southward in your room, so you sit up speedily and then something grabs your ankle from under your bed. Co-ordinate to him, anybody has.

At that place ARE MONSTERS Under ALL OUR BEDS!

That seemed like a flawed premise to me, but by time you get to the end of the episode, we discover out it IS a flawed premise, only ane with a reason backside information technology.

Information technology's a flawed premise, but one with a reason behind it.  Ah…is it me, or is Anderson'southward argument a trifle convenient and eager to encompass up something that might non have sat right with him?

In order to get some empirical evidence, the Medico has Clara plug herself into the TARDIS' psychic goo flanges to become dorsum to a time she remembers it happening in her ain past.

She's not supposed to get distracted but she tin can't stop thinking well-nigh Danny, and they cease upwardly in Gloucester in the '90s in front end of a children's home.

She'south never been here, but immediately she sees why her mind brought them all: a little boy in the window, named Rupert Pinkish, afraid of being solitary.

Already the tangles are getting very knotty.  The TARDIS is continued to Clara'southward time-stream, just information technology's Rupert/Danny Pink's past we get to.  Already, nosotros're getting the suggestion that Clara and Danny's time-streams are continued, only as nosotros will see, it ain't necessarily then.  Perhaps here I can be a little more flexible, and perchance just thinking of someone will lead y'all to their past rather than their own.  Yet, would this not hateful that either Clara or the TARDIS had cognition of Danny'due south past?  How else could Clara go to Danny'south exact childhood?  If I didn't know something nigh the by of someone I know, how would I be able to go to find it?

I just find something hither slightly awry, simply I tin can trust others to guide me if they can find the way.

She goes upward to see him and brand him feel ameliorate while the Doc asks the caretaker (under the guise of beingness an inspector) whether strange or creepy things happen. The building's ever creepy at dark, isn't it?

Clara tells Rupert there's nil to be afraid of, because the but thing under the bed is her, once she goes there. She beckons Rupert (who IS Danny, let's confront it) to come under with her…

OH MY! We're going from knotty to naughty.  Rupert 'Danny' Pink in Lolita: The Boy's Turn.

then something sits on the bed. Luckily, the Doc's in that location as well and any information technology is on the bed is hiding under the bedspread.

'Whatsoever' is on the bed.  Indeed, this is one of those pesky little aspects to Mind that people consistently ignore because…THE FEELS!

The Dr. and then gives Rupert a very lovely pep talk almost fear being a super power that scary things just don't accept.

Be Not Agape.

This was such a nifty moment for the 12th Doctor and one of Capaldi's defining scenes so far. He's been naught merely great in these kinds of scenes and I simply call up he's shaping up to be a wonderful, complex, and actually quite like shooting fish in a barrel to like Doctor, despite the "darkness" we've seen inside him.

OK, I'll give him that: Capaldi has been better than his fabric. However, given that this Doctor fought off Robin Hood with a spoon, I discover the 'darkness' claim a trifle dubious.

The iii stand looking out the window while the Doctor tells the thing to go out. He thinks that if something had a "perfect" ability to hide, for someone to look at it would be catastrophic, so ameliorate prophylactic than sorry. At present, this PROBABLY was but another male child in the domicile playing a prank, but tin anyone be sure?

Now, permit'due south look at this particular situation. From all appearances, there was something alien in Rupert'south bed (and no, that isn't a Jenna Coleman joke).  What weird fauna was lurking under the covers?  Though any was there disappears rapidly, the quick await did non await human.  And so, was information technology homo or was information technology otherworldly?

Well, Listen never answers that, and nosotros'll never get an reply to this particular curiosity because it'south a plot device, a way to become Rupert to 'be scared' but which leaves a viewer who really thinks things through hopelessly frustrated.

We'll be left forever hanging, because either answer (it was an alien or it wasn't) will take no logical basis can be drawn on the show.  If it was alien, we'll never know what it was, how it got at that place, why information technology was there.  If information technology wasn't, so that is the best costume for an orphan ever made.

It's a needless mystery, but one that Moffat needed because a.) he needed to make an episode last a sure amount of time, b.) he had to hammer in his point, and c.) 'analytical critics' similar Kyle Anderson will rarely if ever question anything.

Clara gives him a toy from a box of soldiers which she calls the boss, the one who goes into a boxing without a weapon because he's the bravest (while Mackinnon focuses on the Doc in the background…great moment) and the time travelers leave.

OK, I'll concede that besides: that was a good, subtle commentary on The Physician.

Clara gets the Doc to take her dorsum to the restaurant, only moments afterward she left and things with Danny seem to exist going well again, until she lets slip that she knows his name is Rupert.

Jenna Coleman in My Dinner with Rupert.

I have a question at this juncture.  Clara didn't know Rupert/Danny was in a children'south home (read: orphanage) prior to her journey to the past, but she still managed to get to his childhood because she was thinking of him.  At present, afterwards essentially popping back into their disastrous dinner, she lets out something that shocking to him?  Again, something hither is notwithstanding awry.  What could it be?

He doesn't like being lied to, but she can't even make upwardly a story considering someone in a infinite arrange is beckoning her back to the TARDIS.

This signals the outset part of the story ran out of steam, so we demand something wild to put u.s.a. in the second office.

Information technology's not the Doc, information technology's someone who looks AMAZINGLY like Danny.

AMAZINGLY!

It's Orson Pink, a time traveler from 100 years in the hereafter. The Doctor found him through searching Clara'south fourth dimension stream again (conspicuously something's going on between the Oswalds and the Pinks).

Guess again, oh Highly Belittling Critic.  Guess again.

Heed is tying itself into Gorgon knots that not even our Andy will be able to untangle.

He'southward been stranded on the Last Planet in the Universe, a desolate stone with zippo, no life, no sounds, no anything. And yet, even though at that place is truly nothing out there, Orson has been terrified of the dark because he thinks something might really be out there.

Is he afraid of the dark?

The Doctor has Orson and Clara expect in the TARDIS while he opens the lock and lets whatsoever'south out there in. But he gets his head knocked and almost gets sucked out the airlock, but Orson saves him.

I don't want to sound too picky here, but Anderson uses 'only' twice in the aforementioned judgement.  I was taught that one doesn't brainstorm a judgement with 'simply', just it seems that sentence is a scrap off structurally.  Any grammarians are costless to pipe in.

With the Physician unconscious and something outside (or maybe it'south just the air settling), Clara uses the psychic circuits to take them somewhere else. They make it in a barn or stable and she follows the audio of a small child crying.

She assumes it'south Rupert again, or Orson, but when people arrive, she hides under the bed. They talk about how he'll never be a skillful soldier if he keeps crying, nor a good Fourth dimension Lord. WHAAAAAAA?!?!? Clara has somehow gone to the Doctor's childhood on Gallifrey (which doesn't Really make sense given that Gallifrey is hidden somewhere in another universe, but I'm willing to overlook that).

SHOCKED that Kyle Anderson would be willing
to overlook something which doesn't
REALLY make sense !

I am curious though, is the TARDIS still stuck looking upwards Clara'southward timeline, because if it is, it'south doing a damn lousy job.  It'south taken her to Danny/Rupert'southward past, the future of someone named Orson Pink, and now The Medico'due south.  Either she's related to ALL 3 of them, or there a major malfunction somewhere in all this.

She realizes information technology's her being there that causes the Medico to fright the nighttime, and dreaming, and existence alone. She tells him it'south a dream, gives him the same speech as he gave young Rupert, and then says a line Hartnell says in "An Unearthly Child" all the fashion back in 1963 – "Fear makes companions of usa all."

I take swell umbrage at the utilise of this line because information technology is taking the line completely out of context. He said that in response to his Companion Barbara's comment in the story.  It wasn't meant or intended as some grand philosophical statement, simply as a reply.

I become that Moffat was nodding to the original series, but the 'fear makes companions of u.s.a. all' chip is stretching things.  Further, I am mistrustful of Anderson'due south cheering on something that doesn't quite fit just because it sounds squeamish.

Also, how does The Doctor Not remember Clara, whom he's essentially met twice earlier meeting her multiple times when she was dissever through time to save him, again and over again?

Nosotros besides see a glimpse of the War Doctor walking with the Moment back to this very stable, clearly a place where he felt safe.

Considering we needed the "War" Doctor (or as I phone call him, the real Ninth Md) shoehorned in to please Moffat'due south ego.

"Listen" is a truly wonderful episode that only makes sense once the whole affair is completed, like the best of Moffat.

"Listen" is a truly wonderful episode that only makes sense one time the whole thing is completed, like the best of Moffat.

"Listen" is a truly wonderful episode that only makes sense one time the whole thing is completed, like the all-time of Moffat.

"Listen" is a truly wonderful episode that only makes sense once the whole thing is completed, like the best of Moffat.

"Listen" is a truly wonderful episode that but makes sense once the whole thing is completed, like the best of Moffat.

Everything we thought was scary actually WAS the "probably" we all tell ourselves to make us feel better.

I Tin can'T BREATHE...I need a few minutes.  Oh, Kyle, even for you you've gone overboard.  You transcend donkey-kissing into directly-up rimming.

It was another little male child nether the comforter; it was just a dream about someone under your bed;

It Was All A Dream.  What is this: Doctor Who or Dallas ?

information technology was just the Doctor beingness scared of being alone and in the dark. Information technology was all there. So often, Doctor Who takes things every piffling kid fears and says, yes, information technology really is something scary; here, Moffat tells the audience that being scared is normal and it doesn't always indicate to a real danger, that being agape is a badge of honor and tin assistance you become brave, and that admitting you're afraid can be the bravest matter of all.

Such a lovely episode.

Something tells me that Kyle Anderson liked Listen.  What say y'all?

SHOCKED that Kyle Anderson liked a Doc Who episode!

Oh, and I didn't mention withal this fourth dimension out: Jenna Coleman is And so FRIGGING GOOD!

Oh, and he didn't mention yet this time out: Jenna Coleman is SO FRIGGING HOT!

My God, they've just been giving her peachy things to practise and she'south been delivering to the Nth degree. She's great great great.

I so look forrard to come across where the Danny/Clara storyline goes

Nowhere, Fast.  Let me play psychic to his psycho, but the Danny/Clara storyline will terminate upward existence a rubbish heap of total nonsense that Kyle Anderson will insist is a authentication of genius.

just more often than not I look forward to where she goes equally a character, because right now she's easily my favorite companion of the new series. Yeah, I said it.

SHOCKED that Clara is his favorite Companion of the new series!
SHOCKED I SAY!

Adjacent week, nosotros have a heist… in a banking company… having to practice with time… and a weird Not-Ree-Yees alien creature and Keeley Hawes looking stern librarian.

I can genuinely say I have no idea what he'south talking about at this point, though to be fair I rarely can make genuine sense out of Anderson's cheerleading, as muddled as about Doc Who episodes are present.

"Fourth dimension Heist" is side by side week, written by Moffat and Stephen Thompson and directed again by Mackinnon. Take a gander!

And let'southward talk about "Listen" below! Did you lot similar it as much as I did?

That, my dearest Kyle, is impossible.  No i can like a Doctor Whoepisode more than you.  Then over again, no 1 gets paid to like them more than than yous.  Yep, I said information technology.

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